Growing

15+3

 

This pic is from last week; I am clearly pregnant!

 

Life has been pretty crazy this week as I've had some complications and am on modified bed rest.  Thankfully, our prognosis is really good and baby is doing just fine for now.  With that being said, I'm posting this to request continued prayers that my body cooperates and we deliver a healthy baby at (or at least close to) term.



And Suddenly...Bump!

12+3

I was all bloat two weeks ago, but not anymore! PS-  I do have a head, but I always make funny faces in "selfies", so yeah.  Next time, I'll get help from Mr. Kirk. ;)

Q&A

Are you adopting again or are you pregnant?
This time around, I am with child.  And as a side note, getting pregnant has made me realize, with certainty, that adoption is every bit as amazing as growing a baby in your belly!  We just feel blessed to get to experience both!

When are you due?
In May some time, or maybe June if the baby gets too comfortable.  Due dates are overrated, and so much pressure.   

Were you surprised?
Shocked actually.  But the good kind of shock, you know. ;)

Will you find out the gender?
Nope.

Do B & C understand there is a baby in your belly?
Beckett doesn't have a clue at this point and Caysen gets it enough to poke around in my belly button looking for said baby.

How have you been feeling?
One word.  Bloat.  Well, and nausea, and exhaustion, and indigestion.  But really, I'm sure a lot of people have had it worse than me.

How did you find out?
A pregnancy test.  And I'm very in tune with my body.  That's all.

Do you have a baby bump yet?
No, just some really amazing bloat going on right now.  I look pregnant, especially by the end of the day, but I'm pretty certain the only baby that's showing right now is a food baby.

Have you had an ultrasound/heard the heart beat?
Yes!  And it was glorious!!  But also surreal.  Somebody pinch me!

Orphan Sunday

Adoption has changed us, made us better, not better than anyone else, just better than we were before.  We had no idea we would be so blessed! Thankful for our two less on this Orphan Sunday!

How to Parent. Ha!

Judgment...our world is full of it.  Smart or not so much?  Attractive or unattractive?  Rich or poor?  And the big one that everybody seems to be talking about these days, a good parent or a bad parent?

In a month's time, we have been told by one that we are too hard on our children, and by another that we are too soft- that if we get rid of "his trashy behaviors", everything else will fall into place.  We have been stared at for ignoring our son as he threw one heck of a tantrum in his car seat.  And we've been stared at for trying anything to appease our son to avoid a tantrum.  Somebody always has an opinion when it comes to parenting.

I've read several articles lately focused on moms judging other moms.  I don't know what it is about us, but we all seem to feel the need to force express our opinion about how our way is better.  In reality, we are all, for the most part, doing our very best to raise our children to be healthy, happy, and well adjusted adults who will reach their full potential down the road.  Some choose to co-sleep and some are adamantly opposed.  Some practice tough love and some gravitate toward a more sensitive approach.  Some would argue that sending your child to preschool is a must; others believe preschool is a waste of precious time.  But here's the thing.  Every child is different.  Every family is unique.  We all have our own values, personalities, priorities, and opportunities.  Parenting is far from "one size fits all"...and that's okay.

For those who have yet to experience the joys (and trials) of parenthood: I've been there.  I thought I knew the exact formula for perfect parenting.  Then I became a parent.  Hello humility.  I don't blame you for giving me unsolicited and inexperienced advice; after all, I offered up heaps of advice (and made many a snarky comment) before becoming a parent myself.  But if you're reading this, just trust me when I say that it's not as easy as it may appear.  ;)

For us moms.  Can we agree to stop beating ourselves up because we aren't perfect?  We will make mistakes in parenting...everyday, but let's give ourselves a little grace in our imperfection?  Some days are easy, some days are hard; our job is to keep going, praying, learning and improving along the way.       

    

HK Summer Camp 2013

 Just before all the "moving across the country" craziness started, we had our 3rd annual Hanna-Kirk Summer Camp!

 The boys didn't know what to think of the splash park at first, but I had to drag them to the car when it was time to leave.

 Sweet brothers.

 We visited a real live "tiny" town!  Everything was just their size!

 So fun!!

Movie and Popcorn!

 

Some other highlights of the week included the butterfly pavilion and a wildlife park where we got to watch them feed the bear!

 

HK Summer Camp just gets more and more fun each year!  It's so cute watching the cousins play together and develop a close relationship that I hope will continue throughout their lives. :)

Back to School

This boy started his 2nd year of preschool this week!

And this boy didn't know what to do with himself.  He follows Caysen around constantly and wants to do everything Caysen does so he was pretty bummed when Caysen stayed at school and he had to come home with me.

 He wouldn't give me a smile, just a nose scrunch.

Beckett on the other hand, he was hammin' it up!

Love these two!

 

 Caysen settled right in at school and there were no tears at all!

It wasn't easy prying Beckett away; maybe we need to find a mother's day out program so he can go to "school" too!



Where have I been?

I said I was going to start blogging regularly, and I did for a few weeks, and then I disappeared again.  Well, that's because our little family moved to big Texas!  We found out we were moving at the end of June and arrived at our new home apartment about five weeks later.  We've been "Texans" for a little over a week and are feeling more settled every day.

I'm still trying to get caught up after a whirlwind July, but will be back soon to share all about the fun we've had since my last post!  Until then, here's a small preview of one of our recent adventures:

Proud

I am proud of this guy.  He did something today that took courage, humility, integrity, and faith.  I'll wait until the time is right to share the details, but for now, I am just proud.

I have learned that...

Adoption is addicting, and incredible, and amazing!  What a blessing!

Parenting is humbling...oh so humbling.

I would do anything for my babies, Anything.

Infertility is gut-wrenching and painful.  I don't know that the memory of what we went through will ever lose its sting.

I need more patience.

Lance is a good dad!  I love watching how he loves the boys and how they love him right back!

Mommy guilt is intense when you bring your second baby home and suddenly can't give 100% of your attention to your first little sweetie anymore.

Mommy guilt subsides. ;)

I'm not that different from mothers who have chosen to place their child up for adoption.  If anything, they are stronger than me.

God is awesome!  He takes good care of our family.

I am a tough mom.  I love to snuggle and smooch my boys, but I do not coddle.

I can't do it all.  And when I try, we all suffer for it.

I'm not that sensitive to uneducated comments or ideas about adoption.  I was ignorant about adoption until we experienced it.

I am super sensitive to uneducated comments or ideas about special needs.  The "R" word makes me cringe.  Maybe it's because I think my special needs boy is perfect. ;)

Two children raised by the same parents can be completely different!

Sleep is overrated.

I miss sleep. ;)

There are a million and one ways to be a good mom.  No need for judgment.

Being a mom is such an amazing gift and so much more than I could have imagined!

Are they twins?

Nice lady sitting near us at our hotel breakfast: "Your boys are so cute!  I just recently applied to adopt twins and we are so excited!"

Me: "Thanks. Congratulations on your upcoming adoption!" (Thinking to myself that it's going to be awkward if this conversation continues and I have to tell her B&C are not twins).

For the record, the boys were not wearing matching outfits and the nice lady at breakfast was the third person to assume the boys were twins in less than 30 minutes.

Yep, pretty much any time we go out in public, we get asked over and over again, "Are they twins?"  Maybe we should just start saying yes.  It's really not a big deal, but I do hope that it doesn't give Caysen or Beckett a complex as they get older.  This isn't one of those situations they tell you about in parenting books...so we wing it.  And hope and pray we're doing the right thing.

On a Whim

I decided last minute to take a quick trip to Texas for my nephew's high-school graduation.  And by last minute, I mean I decided to go for it about noon on Thursday and we were packed up and headed down the road later that evening.  Lance had to work so it was just Beckett, Caysen, and myself.  Here are some pics of our little adventure:

 

We stayed the night in a hotel on our way to TX.  It wasn't one of my best nights of sleep, but the boys slept great! ;)

 

It was hot when we got to Texas (bad quality phone pic, sorry)!

Beckett and Caysen got to meet their uncle Marlon!!

And they got to see Aunt Lori too! :)

Fun at the pool!

My nephew, Kirk, after his graduation.  I feel so small!

The boys also got to spend some quality time with their cousin Tenley! Thanks Lisa for taking these pics!!

Silly boy!

Caysen likes to make goofy faces!

Carpool.

More silly faces.

The kids had so much fun together!!





Beckett- 16 Months

So we finally managed to schedule Beckett's 15 month well check...on the day he turned 16 months.  I guess we've been busy.  Did I mention that having two kiddos is exponentially more crazy (and amazing) than having one? ;)

 

Beckett's appointment went well.  He didn't love the shots they gave him, but who can blame him?  He's pretty much right on target (or ahead) in all areas other than being a little behind on speech.  Learning Chinese for 9 months and then suddenly switching to English tends to do that.  We actually started speech therapy a couple weeks ago to give him what he needs to catch up. 

Also, I think I shrink children. ;)  When Beckett came home, he was in the 50th percentile for weight.  At three months home, he was down to the 30th percentile.  And now, he is in the "less than" 3rd percentile.  In truth, our boy is a picky eater.  And he belongs on an Asian growth chart.  He loves to eat and is branching out with new foods all the time.  We're not worried.  He weighs in at 20 lbs.  We tried to get his length, but he didn't cooperate. What can I say, he gets a little anxious around everyone doctors. ;)

Beckett's personality has really been coming out lately and it's so fun!  He is very serious most of the time, but he can be a total goof-ball.  He loves making people laugh and he loves praise.  He's a brave boy; no fear.  He's still a Mama's boy, but he's becoming more and more of a Daddy's boy.  Dad's just way more exciting and Beckett loves exciting (unless the excitement involves sudden loud noises, those terrify him).

We are so thankful for our snugly, sweet, sometimes challenging, and definitely humbling, precious, smiley, and perfect Baby Beck!

 

Individualized Education Plan

Last week, Caysen finished his first year of preschool!  It's hard to believe he is going to be four in just a few short months!! 

To prepare for his second year of preschool, a handful of teachers, therapists, and myself got together to discuss progress and goals for the upcoming year.  Doesn't sound very emotional, right?  I didn't think so either, but it totally was!  

First of all, we began the meeting by discussing Caysen's progress and how he did with the goals we set for him a year ago.  It was so amazing to hear the teachers and therapists talking about how he exceeded expectations time and again.  Every mother loves to hear people gush about her child (right?) and there was a whole lotta' gushing going on! 

And second, I love. Love. LOVE Caysen's teachers and his aide! They absolutely adore Caysen and I have complete confidence that he feels loved and cared for during his time at school!  I could hardly contain my emotions as I explained to the team how thankful I was for Miss Debbie, Miss Lori, and especially Caysen's aide, Miss "Jay".  Some people cry when they send their babies off to preschool.  I didn't.  I did, however, cry the first day that Caysen marched into the classroom, full of excitement, squealing "Miss Jay" and running toward her as fast as his little legs would carry him!  Caysen loves big! And nothing warms my heart more than watching him love...except maybe watching people love him back. :)

So as we settle into life with IEPs and aides, and therapists, and a school medical plan, and extra doctors, and the list goes on, I find myself thankful; thankful that my first baby has a whole team of people who love him and are cheering him on with every new accomplishment, no matter how big or how small.

          

Lately

I've been on a "blog break" for a while, but I think I'm ready to jump back in.  After all, if I don't write down all of the fun things going on with our boys, I'm sure the memories will disappear from my exhausted mommy brain for good.



It's hard to believe we've been home with Beckett for almost seven months!  Having two is definitely a challenge, but I feel like we're finally getting into a nice routine and life feels "normal" again.

Beckett is Mr. Serious most of the time.  However, he loves to laugh and play, especially with mom, dad, and Caysen.  He is very anxious about anyone besides parents and grandparents strangers!  He makes sure not to venture too far when we are away from home.  He says "dad", but not in the right context.  In fact, he says "dad" for pretty much everything. ;)  He is walking all over and has been since before his first birthday!  I think watching his older brother motivated him to figure it out.  He loves to play outside, but hates wind!  He tried dirt today...didn't like it.  I hold him for the better part of every day which I mostly love, except when we have no clothes to wear because I haven't done laundry in several days. ;)  Beckett is our picky eater.  He likes bananas, beans, peanut butter, a few fruits, and anything that is completely unhealthy.  He does not like vegetables or meat.  We're hoping he learns to branch out eventually.  He is a total snuggle-bug!!  He loves to clap, dance, and wave bye-bye!  The boys are really close in size, but for now, Caysen is still the bigger "big brother".  Beckett weighs about 20 lbs. which means he's a little on the small side according to American growth charts.  We think he's just right!  This boy can be a handful, but we sure do love him!

 

Caysen gets more and more fun every day.  Like Beckett, he is walking all over the place.  Needless to say, they keep me busy!  Caysen uses 1-2 word sentences, but somehow he still manages to talk my ear off...every day.  He talks about mom and dad and cars and trucks and dogs and cats and all kinds of other subjects.  His favorite color was blue for a while, then orange, and now it's white.  He says his ABCs, just not in any particular order. ;)  When we count together, he knows "1, 2" and then he waits and chimes in again when we get to "8,9".  His favorite song is "The Wheels on the Bus".  Whenever I play it for him, he does his weasel laugh and starts spinning in circles (going round and round) and bouncing up and down.  I think we can finally say any feeding issues are a thing of the past.  He's still tiny, a little over 20 lbs. at 3 1/2, but he eats well...and keeps it down!  He knows the way to my parent's house and throws a fit if we don't turn toward their house whenever we pass their street.  He also does a chant every time we are on our way to their house, "Mi-Mi, Pa-ah, Mi-Mi, Pa-ah."  He has been known to ask to go to bed and he always sleeps through the night.  We've been blessed with two good sleepers.  For Caysen, it's the little things that bring a huge smile to his face.  He is so full of joy and spreads it around to everyone he meets!  

 

For Yu Wun & Shu Fen

Brothers