Trust

It became pretty clear to me a while back that God has been giving a lesson in patience over these past few years since Lance and I decided we wanted our family to grow. I'm not a patient person by nature and I definitely have a long way to go, but I do think I've learned a lot about patience and am much more able to accept God's timing than I was before this experience.

I was reflecting back on everything today and realized that this adoption has taught me more than just patience; it has taught me about trust:

When I drove up to Denver to find out that the computers were down at the secretary of state's office, I walked out of that building and asked God why he would let this happen. No more than an hour later, the computers came back up and everything worked out fine.

We didn't receive a letter in the mail inviting us to get our federal fingerprints done like we were supposed to. I started to panic and worry that this would greatly delay the whole process...but God didn't let that happen. It's all been straightened out and we'll be going to get our fingerprints done soon.

When Caysen was in the hospital, once again, I started to doubt God. Only a few days passed, and Caysen showed great improvement.

Before we got our referral, we started to feel something in our hearts. We felt that it was God telling us that Caysen was the one for us. We had many fears knowing that Caysen was born so early and had some major complications, but we decided to just follow God and trust his plan.

I don't know for sure what Caysen's future holds. So far, the tests have all come back great (all things considered), and I hope that he is a healthy and happy boy. With that being said, I trust that God is carrying out his plan and that he won't give us anything we can't handle. God won't always work it out the way I think it should be, but he WILL work it out the best way so I just need to put my trust in him and let the magical plan unfold.